My depressing moods

I remember little dialogue from somewhere.

'Hey, why are you still standing right now?'

"Because I want to protect my dearest one."

'Really? Cliche isn't it?'

"How so?"

'Because you want to hold your ground when all of suffering and fighting ends. You held hatred towards one that left you behind. you held deeper hatred towards one that betray you, the one that hurt you and keep you captive.'

"NO."

'How could you be so sure?'

"Because I held onto my faith."

'Faith? for what? a faith that you will not be hurt in the end? Faith that you are worthy?'

"No. a Faith for Justice."

'Naive one I see...'

"How?"

'Because you held onto false justice.'

"No. this is true! Why are you denying it? in this situation nonetheless."

'Because I don't like someone who go around brandishing a banner of justice. When there were human involved, no good and bad remains. What remain is our will.'

Kembali ke dunia nyata, kata kata itu terasa seperti nostalgia. apa yang membuat kita berharga dan kita percaya kalau kita adalah yang benar? apa yang membuat kita beanr dan apa yang membuat mereka salah?

Apa yang membuat sesuatu itu benar dan sesuatu itu salah?

pernahkah kalian bertanya pada diri kalian sendiri hal seperti ini?

"Apakah aku sudah cukup berguna?"

"Apakah aku sudah memenuhi harapan mereka?"

"Apakah aku berharga?"

Ukuran apa yang membuat kita berharga? ukuran apa yang dapat membedakan kalau hal itu adalah benar dan bukan? apa yang mendasari kebenaran itu?

Kemudian, pernahkah kita mencari kebenaran dari ini? apa kebenaran yang selamaini kita bercaya adalah benar? kebenaran apa yang kita cari sampai kita merasa itu hanya hal penting.

hah... pertanyaan ambigu untuk orang yang aneh, kan?

doodle # 1

This is a picture of my original character in zetaboards, Acacia of Anagon. Sequentia Trifoi.

tugas TIK semester genap

Setyani / XI IPS 3 / 26

Here we go now... I know that this post is not so interesting because I just want to share my doodle. what I want to share is a rather depresing poet but well... I keep trying hard to make one.

Empty Tune

I sink in abyss shaped by myself...

I felt like ridiculous being,

Yet I can’t memorize why I revolve in such circumstance.

I saunter in Night Street all by myself.

Turned in murky crook I saw zilch.

Fear built within gloomy I can’t even portray.

I closed my eyes and likeness of me kept dancing.

Once I weep,

Once I drown,

Once I gasp,

I never felt myself within that imagery...

I doze in humid and secure bed in my own room.

Yet I can’t feel the kindness within that place.

I stride out of my extent but found no one in my residence.

I lighted the lamp but the place felt empty by me.

Dawn came with the echo of chirping bird.

I wake and stroll to the school to met my friends.

We natter like those chirping bird.

We giggle like there was no tomorrow to giggle.

So warm but so odd,

Like it’s all didn’t belong to me.

Soon I went back to that frosty and sinister place over.

I recognize there were futile to knock the door as I enter.

I believe there was no one to welcome me,

Like there were no one in the daybreak as I went out.

I turn the hi-fi to fill the vacant gap.

I sing to load the hole within this place.

I dance and I convert so many books to alleviating my dullness.

I cook and filled the table with various meals.

I act as if there was so much joy in this bareness.

Said to myself “It’s okay... you will not broke again.”

I said to my wits “I will get used to this eventually.”

Once I found myself mumbled word ‘useless’ repeatedly.

I gazed at my surrounding and sighed.

This bareness and chilliness get used to my mind so quick.

I felt myself trailing those entire warmth wish.

It’s just so effortless to believe not too much than thorn aftermath.

I felt the numbness within my mind but I should not care.

Yet, I found myself terrified of that sinister spot in this new perspective.


copyrighted by me and me only.


I know it's depressing poet. so well... hope you enjoy it?